All the big news is about this Gadzillion dollar Stimulus Bill that just got enacted into law, and how it is going to save humanity. (Or at least life as we know it here in the good ol' USA!)
Tonight I downloaded all 130,786 pages of the bill, and because I am a graduate of the Evelyn wood Speed Reading course, I digested that baby in about 20 minutes!
And guess what I found, smack dab right in the middle of it, on page 66,666?
I found the Blogger Unification Locality Legalization Spread Happiness Initiative Treatise. or as I like to call it, the B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. rider!
And just what does the BULLSHIT Rider propose?
It allocates $1 Billion, (That's B as in Billion!) for the creation of the Blogger Relief Information Corps, or in Government terms, the BRIC!
So what is the purpose of the BRIC?
I'll tell you!
The purpose of the BRIC! is to spread blogging into smaller communities that otherwise wouldn't have blogs being written about them! The goal is to give grants of $1000 to 10,000 people, and have them write blogs about such places as Neffs PA, or even an out of the way place like Aquashicola! It's all part of the new Administrations' "No Blogger left behind" initiative!
Now I know you just did the numbers, and you realized that they have a budget of
$1 BILLION dollars, but they are only giving out grants for $10 MILLION. Well, you see, that's because they need $990 million for administrative costs. First they gotta have offices in every state, and they gotta furnish those offices. then they gotta have employees, such as administrators and secretaries to do their work, and then they gotta have personal laptops and cars, well you get the picture, right?! I can't wait to see who gets the job as Undersecretary of Blogging affairs to oversee all this fun!
I'd bet on either Ariana Huffington or that doofus from the Daily Kos!
So That's what the Stimulus bill has for us bloggers. I'm going to apply to write a blog about Breiningsville! I'm going to get my grand, how about you?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
3 comments:
Why don't you apply for the Cabinet position of Secretary of Blogs? God knows you are as full of it as anyone else!
I mean this nicely, though.
This sounds like it could be real! It will probably be found in there somewhere!
Arianna huffing something is on the Jonestown diet. She's crazy as a fox, and I can't stand her.
anon 10:24, I'm not up for any politics anymore, and I can take a joke.
Anne: If they had a secretary of Blogging, I would suggest John Micek of the Morning Call.
God knows how long until Zell Hell claims him, which I hope never happens, but John has a snark factor that I appreciate.
Plus he rocks on guitar, and we could use a few musicians in the cabinet!
Post a Comment