Anybody who reads this blog ever play "Clue" as a kid? You know, the game where through a process of elimination you figure out that Colonel Mustard killed the Butler in the Library with the Candle holder while the maid was getting knifed in the kitchen?
Sure you did!
This morning I let Mrs C. who is a bit under the weather, sleep in, and after having a breakfast omelet, I went to my gym to work out.
I've written about my gym before, that's the place where there are idiots who use hair driers on their groin areas and attempt to multitask by shaving in the jacuzzi.
Thankfully, those morons get called out most of the time by other members (like me), and publicly shamed.
This morning after I blasted through 35 minutes on the elliptical trainer, and swam my 10 laps, (500 meters, thank you!) I went to the jacuzzi room for 20 minutes of relaxing, almost scalding water pulsing away at my aching muscles.
This jacuzzi at my gym will hold 8 to 12 people, but there's rarely more than 2 0r 3 around.
Today I walk in and a regular, who looks a lot like Santa is alone in the jacuzzi. He is sitting in the corner, staring straight up in the air.
He's not blinking.
He doesn't look like he's breathing.
I call out, "Hey buddy, how are you today?"
No answer.
If you ever played Clue, right now you are thinking, Santa was killed by the Towel guy in the Jacuzzi with the jump rope, Right?
Eh, not so fast. Lets check the guy first, maybe.
What would Jesus do? Well here's what I did: I walked over and touched him, and he jumped up with a start, damn near giving me a fatal heart attack.
I explained why I touched him, and he laughed, telling me that he was only meditating, and had not heard or noticed me. I am 5' 11" and 230 pounds, but he hadn't noticed me? The guy who's head is so bald and shiny they dim the lights when I enter the building to cut down the glare?
So the Santa lookalike guy was not dead. I'm glad.
Speaking of living creatures that aren't dead....
The fish that remained after the untimely death of Paint/Lazarus/Floater are all still alive!
I credit this to the great folks at the Riverview Nursery out in the Pricetown area, who gave me great advice on how to stabilize the water in their tank after the move. Go FISH!
This brings me to Loodely Doodles Lucy, the little Black Cocker who suffered a seizure recently. She's doing great as well, with no further occurrences. My wife and I suspect that someone may have tossed something in the yard and she ate it, but we have no proof, just our suspicions.
However, there were some mysterious footprints in the snow around the property last week. I'm really glad I invested in the Brink's system last year after all the break ins over in the nearby Ancient Oaks subdivision, and circumstantial evidence that someone had been scoping out our home. Throw in a couple of 24/7 web cams strategically placed on the property, and I've got an eye on things even when I'm not home. Ain't Technology great!
BTW, Tomorrow is SALLY SUNDAY!
Why is it SALLY SUNDAY!? Because tomorrow we take the dog (Sally) that does not like to have her hair cut or get a bath down to the do it yourself Pet Wash on Route 100 in Macungie.
There's a reason I'll be praying extra hard tomorrow at church, I will need the extra patience and understanding as I try to hold on to Sally while Mrs C does the honors.
Meanwhile, the memoir parade marches on. It has nine chapters, consisting of 165 pages. The story of a guy with an addiction and his guardian angel/sponsor/best friend who happens to be a dog.
Sometimes we find out the truth about ourselves when we peel away all the lies we told ourselves to get by. Life might not be as good as we would like to think, but it's nowhere near as bad as those around us would sometimes have us believe.
It's all about perspective, and 20 years down the road, hindsight is always 20/20.
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