Missing Snuffy

I promise this will not turn into a "I miss my dog blog" but I have to get it out of me, this sense of loss I feel.

I thought I was getting past it, but this morning it really hit me. I got up for work at 4 AM, and when I opened the bathroom door after showering and shaving, she was not there waiting. I let my other two out into the yard, and I didn't have to go out and find her to get her in so I could leave. I knew where she was, to the left of the door, next to the Virgin Mary. I wouldn't have to mop the foyer from her contribution of muddy paws anymore.

But it really hit me as I went to leave, and I started to cry. I did what I have absently done so many times before, laying three treats out on the kitchen table, one for each dog. They always sit patiently as I handed them out. Because of her failing vision I would place it directly to her mouth, and she would take it gently.

I had three treats, but only two attentive dogs to give them to. I gave Sally and Lucy their treats, and went out the door, with the third treat in my hand. Instead of turning right to my car I turned left, walked into the grass and stopped at Snuffy's resting place. I did not toss it, I gently laid it on the ground. Then I went to work. I usually listen to the radio on the way, but today I couldn't even bear Christmas carols, I drove in silence.