Cleaning out the Garage

I am blessed.

I live in a urban castle that has a two car garage. Not only that, but there are separate doors for each car! That, in the eyes of my dear deceased Dad, was a statement that you were well off.
We had a two car garage when I was growing up, but it was one big door, and you had to pull one of the cars out to get in the passenger side. It was tight in there. Only rich people had "Real" two car garages. It was a big old wooden door, and we didn't have automatic garage door openers back then. Well, we did, it was me, I had to physically lift it to open it, and close, lower and lock it when we left. It wasn't light, believe you me, it wasn't until a month after I joined the Army and 2 weeks before I went away to basic training that Dad had me install a motorized door opener.

Well, we Casey's aren't rich, but I am a bit on the frugal side, just ask my wife. We have power automatic garage doors, just as now most everybody in McMansion land has a two car garage, not all, but many do. It's become a standard norm, and no longer a sign of grandiosity, if it ever really was one at all.

In the garage attached to the Casey Castle of Trexlertown, there's room to get in on all sides. That wasn't always the case, we had quite a bit of "stuff" stored in there for a while. When we first moved in, I was six months clearing out stuff so I could park in there. Mrs C got the preferred spot right away. She's the lady of the House, and that's the way it works. That's how it worked when I was a kid in our house, Dad always gave Mom the better spot.

Now I'm sure the people over at the secret Chinese Spy satellite cable network have been watching the outtakes of "Chris Casey, Home Improvement Moron" that they are shooting by satellite with interest. They are probably wondering, "Why is he so good to his wife? Why does he always give her the best of everything? Why does he pack her lunch, wash her car, do her laundry, and all these other things? Is he what many American men refer to as "Pussy whipped?"

No you communist ninnies, I'm not whipped! I'm what a real American guy is supposed to be! Decent, caring, and attentive to his mate! Real American men aren't afraid of doing the laundry! Real men get so dirty doing real jobs that sometimes we just climb in the washer with our clothes on and close the door! We call that conserving fresh water!

Sunday night I would have done that, if I could, but even my new, leaner, meaner, not as much to be seener' body can fit in our 6 month old energy efficient Whirlpool washer. (I know "seener" is not a word, but it rhymes nicely, okay?)
I started cleaning the garage after I returned from the gym shortly after 3 PM, and when I finished at 7:30, you could walk up and down on the sides of both cars, and freely open all doors!
(The Truth: I'm trying to make room for a Riding Lawn Mower or Snow Blower, I could care less if you can get in the car from either side!)

Was I dirty? Yes!! Did I suffer a few cuts and bruises? Uh yeah, and that splinter from that old four by four really hurt, and luckily I did get it out right away! The point is, The garage is cleaner, the trash and summer's worth of debris have been removed, and I, the American man, have finished another mission, once again thwarting the schemes of those damned Communist Chinese! Yeah!!!! I wonder what they are titling the next episode of Chris Casey, Home Improvement Moron, now? They probably focus on the two car garage, the gas powered lawn mower, the many different pieces of power yard hardware, and decided to call it: Wasteful American Fuel habits!

But who cares what those communist pansies watching on their spy satellites think. They have to be impressed at an average American man's CAN DO! attitude!

Though I think the cut on my finger might be infected. I had a Tetanus shot last October, and I didn't need another one in February when I got the stitches in my hand. We'll see.
Tune in later this week when I give you a report on my next adventure with electricity! I'm going to install a new light fixture/ceiling fan in one of the upstairs bedrooms. I'm putting the over/under on the number of times I electrocute myself at two! Oh, and one more thing, our new fixture? Guess where it was manufactured? You Know it! CHINA! So you know what that means! We are going to be missing something!