Great Pranks in Casey History

Kathy over at the Junk Drawer (http://www.junkdrawerblog.com/) pulled a pretty good prank on one of her coworkers, and it got me to reminiscing about some of the doozies I have been responsible for.
So tonight I'm going to tell you about how I tortured a guy 20 years ago.

I used to bowl a lot, I worked in the business, and I competed in a Traveling league, that bowled in a different center every Saturday afternoon at 2 PM. We usually finished between 4;30 and 5 PM. One of my best friends owned and operated his own 32 lane center, and as a 210 average player, I was the anchorman on his team. Bill, my buddy, bowled lead off.
We had friendly rivalries with several of our competitors, but there were a couple who took bowling way too seriously. One of them was a guy I will call Ray, who was a pretty good player, but as a night manager at another center, thought he was God's gift to Bowling.
Nobody really liked Ray, he had smacked his girlfriend around in front of us during league, he drank a bit much, and had a bad temper. He was a bully, and him and I had tangled a couple of times because of it.
Ray was the kind of guy who purchased the newest technology as soon as it hit the market. and never blamed a bad game on his own failings, it was always the "Balls" fault.

The prank came about right after Christmas, and continued for a couple of weeks. It was 1988/89, I had just turned 27, old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

We bowled in centers throughout several Central Ohio Counties, and my buddy, Bill and I always shared a ride to our destination. We cared about winning, we were always near the top of the standings but we also had a good time no matter what happened. We often joked about things when we were getting our butts whipped, but we were prone to laughing at the guys who took bowling league as life and death. We didn't. We always had a good time. It's where I got my Bowling nickname, "Taz" as Tasmanian Devil, as in the Warner Brothers Cartoon Character, which I will explain some other time. Maybe.

Ray was one of those guys prone to tantrums. And we would laugh at him. The Saturday after Christmas had been ugly for him. He had bowled badly, his team had lost all three games and totals, and he was storming around, screaming that the particular host center that day was a dump, and should be burned to the ground. It just so happened that Bill and I were on the road following him back to Columbus when we saw him turn off into a Pizza Hut parking lot, get out of his car, and throw his Bowling bag into a dumpster. We pulled off into a gas station, and waited until he drove away. Then we went back and I climbed in to look into the bag.
Yes, he had thrown away some prime equipment. Hmmmmm.

I dug it out, and Bill asked what I had planned. When I explained, he cracked up. He was all for it. We drove to the Center that Ray's Dad owned, and went in to talk to him. Ray's dad was cool with it. He knew what a hot head his son was, and loved the idea I came up with. I took Ray's bowling bag and put it in his locker, with his Dad's help. We couldn't wait to hear what would happen when Ray saw the balls he had tossed in the dumpster were back in his locker.

So Tuesday night Ray's Dad calls Bill and tells him that Ray is going off, that he swears he threw that bag away, and he knows someone is messing with him, because he knows there are people laughing at him behind his back. (At this time, only Bill, Ray's Dad, and I were in on it, but that was about to change). Ray's Dad tells Bill that Ray threw the equipment in the dumpster behind his center, and he wouldn't put the trash out until the AM, if we wanted to come by and dig them out. Are you kidding? I was on it.
But this required some public torture, and at the time I had a buddy at UPS I enlisted for help. We put the bowling bag, and the two balls, in a cardboard box, and addressed it to Ray, but my friend would deliver it during traveling league play on Saturday at that weeks bowling center location.
By 2 PM the Saturday after New Years, everybody in the league knew what was coming, but Ray was oblivious. My UPS buddy came in the side door, and nonchalantly wheeled the box through our league, right past an oblivious Ray, and up to the Front desk, where he had Ray paged, to sign for his package.
People were losing it as Ray was incredulous about getting a package 30 miles from home, at a center he'd only been to twice in his life. My buddy shrugged as he Ray kept asking if he knew what was in the box, but Ray eventually signed for it, and my pal walked out while he was bowling, before he could open it, making a clean getaway.

When Ray saw it was the balls he had tossed, he went batshit. He was going to find out who did it, and they would be sorry. After Bowling, Bill and I laid back to watch what he might do.
To our amazement, Ray tossed the balls and bag out the window while driving down interstate 71. We played it cool, noted the mile marker,and waited about an hour to go back and get them.

Yep, they were there! We knew from his Dad that Ray was going to work Saturday at Midnight at his family center, so we packed the balls up, and took them over, putting them behind the control desk. But this time I added a note. I got my lady friend at the time to write it, and it said: "You can't get rid of us Ray, we will always come back!"

By now, Ray's Mom and sister were in on it too, and everybody was loving it. I was working that night myself, and I got a call at about ten after 12 that Ray had gone ballistic. He had no idea who was doing it, but he had told his Mom he would shoot them if he found out, and she thought it best to warn Bill and I.

Now you would think, I would let it go. For a couple of weeks, I did. Then the week of the Super Bowl, Ray sucker punched one of my friends after bowling. Cooler heads prevailed, but Ray was 6'2''250+, and the guy he hit was 5'6 150, if that.

So what did I do? You guys know what Epoxy is? It's used to coat wooden bowling lanes, repair wood, etc. It is like concrete. If you pour it in a bucket, and let it sit, it will harden just like that. I did freelance equipment maintenance on the side for several small 4 to 8 lane bowling centers in the area, and I had access to mass amounts of Epoxy. I waited until the week Traveling league was bowling at Ray's home center, and then I struck. I only told Bill what I was doing, and he shook his head. But he also couldn't stop giggling. I went to Ray's center on Friday night, and it was packed with league bowlers. I went in the locker room, and using a Brunswick locker master key, I opened his locker. It was just after Valentine's day, I remember it well, because my Buddy Bill had proposed to his 2nd wife that day.

I carefully filled the two bowling bags in the locker with as much Epoxy as I could, and zipped them up. I got away clean, and unseen.

The next day, I kept a perfectly straight face when Ray exploded. But I cracked up along with everyone else when the results of my action became known. the Epoxy had slowly seeped out of the bags, and half filled up the locker. It hardened in such a way he couldn't get the locker door open. He had to use a sawzall to cut the door off, and then when he saw the insides, his face was so red, and he was cursing so much we couldn't help but roar in laughter. The whole league, including his teammates. were losing it. No one had any idea, (other than Bill) that I had done it.

Now before you go feeling sorry for him, the guy ran a pro shop, he owned a zillion bowling balls, and could drill one up, right there on site in 5 minutes, if need be. Four bowling balls epoxied together in a locker is nothing to him. But it did piss him off, and I felt I gained a bit of retribution, and some justice for those he had inflicted aggravation on at the time.

I'm a lot more mature now, I no longer do such things, but I still think of them. It was funny, even if it was wrong