Monday, September 8, 2008

Introducing a new "Tools of Testosterone" Family member....!

Aah, there's nothing a real American guy loves more than his wife, but if anything is even close, a true guy loves getting a new tool for use around the castle!
That's right! I purchased a brand spankin' new, Bolens' 17 inch gas powered weed whacker! Can you not feel the Testosterone that is being released just by my writing about it?!

Now I didn't just purchase this for use at Casa de Casey, no, no, no. This baby is going to get some heavy duty use around the Veteran's graves and a few others over at Fairview Cemetery. Beware, Groundhogs! I might not be allowed to blast you bastards with a shotgun within city limits, but there's nothing to stop me from going all "Leatherface Texas Chainsaw Massacre" on you with my weed whacker, with the throttle wide open, it will do some damage, you oversized rodents! Take that! Ha!

Sunday night I took my new weed Whacker out of the box, assembled it, mixed the fuel, and gave it a try. That baby fired right up! Boolyah! I took it for a test run on a couple of my neighbor customer yards, trimming the curbs.
The best thing was, it had all the parts! You know why? It was made in GOD BLESS AMERICA! not that damnable China! Ha! You people at the Secret Chinese Cable Satellite Spy network thought sending me all those Lowe's gift cards would get me to buy more of your products! Ha! Sure, you will probably get a few new episodes of "Chris Casey, Home improvement Moron", out of it for your viewers, and God knows, I might end up accidentally amputating something yet, but I'm doing something every god fearing, respectable, true blooded American would do, cleaning Vet's graves, so there!

Roar!!!! I'm going to need to use earplugs! I can't wait for Tuesday afternoon at Fairview. Beware weeds,I'm coming, and I'm bring the serious heavy artillery!
Boolyah!

2 comments:

Leprechaun said...

hey Chris,
Groundhog has the letters "O", "H", and "R" in its name. Bernie O'Hare will read your post, and tell everyone you are planning to attack him with your weed whacker! Wanna bet?!

Chris Casey said...

No, I do not, and let's leave it at that.