I live about ten miles west of the third largest city in Pennsylvania, Allentown. Now you would think that a city with 120,000 residents and close to a total of a half million living in the metro area would have a newspaper presence of some distinction.

You would be wrong.

If you visit their website, here is one of today's Allentown Morning Call lead stories/headlines:

Kate says dogs will be back

I am friendly with several people who work there, and I know they cringe at some of what the paper has become, but after they published a PDF of Jon Gosselins speeding ticket for driving 78 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, I accepted that all semblance of real news was permanently lost.

Now unless you have been living in the caves of Afghanistan, you likely have been subjected to daily news stories about The Learning Channel's highest rated television show, Jon and Kate Plus Eight.

I will spare you the gory details, but this show is the train wreck of reality TV. Period

What happens on this show, and behind the scenes, is now deemed more newsworthy than say, important things like Health care, or all the crime in your neighborhood.

Really what do you think should be more important, more newsworthy, the fact that there is a gang operating in Allentown doing home invasions and armed robberies of private residences during daylight hours, or a story about Jon and Kate's dogs?

You guessed it, THE DOGS!

And you want to know how really fouled up this story shows the public to be?

People are leaving comments about how Kate made the right decision, sending the dogs to a place where they will get the attention and love they need.

Stop right there. Think about that for a minute.

Wouldn't it be a great idea if Jon and Kate were to do that for their eight kids, and not just the dogs?
How about giving the eight kids the love and attention they need, without faking it for the television audience?

(By the way, if you want to read the most outrageous hilarious blog ever conceived that deals with the first family of media dysfunction check out this one, titled Gosselins Without Pity.)

You know in twenty years we will be reading the tell all story, probably by the same publisher who came out with all those "growing up Brady" memoirs. If you think Barry (Greg) and Mrs Brady (Florence Henderson) had some fun, I am sure there are plenty of Arkansas, West Virginia, and Kentucky residents out there who can't wait to hear what these kids were witness too, if they can find someone to read it to them.

That's my rant for this month.

Sunday Stupid Behavior Rant

Last week I made a few comments about why guys are having trouble in relationships, and I asserted that their lack of manners might have something to do with it. As usual, I received a few email comments, that were right in line with one that someone left here on the blog.

It had to do with guys who answer their cell phone or text message during their dates. Now I'm sure there are women who do this too, but I feel their pain. When I was at John Grogan's speech on Thursday, I heard cell phones ringing sporadically.

Personally, I made a point to turn mine off when I entered the auditorium, but you would think that people would have the common decency to at least put it on vibrate, right?
I mean, if you're a trauma surgeon, I can see the need for that wherever you go, but whose life is going to be saved if Ralph in Finance can't find a toner cartridge?

You get my point?

But I think it is especially egregious for someone to agree to an evening out, and then ask their dating partner to wait repeatedly while they answer cell calls, or return text, don't you?

Even when I take my wife to dinner, I kill my phone. I don't want to be bothered, and i don't want to bother the other patrons, I think it is just plain rude, How about you guys?

Okay, That's my Sunday Stupid behavior rant, and now that I have vented, I'll get back to working on my book. Amen, Brother Ben shot the hen.

Where the Hell.....???

Did I put my keys?

This is a game I play constantly in my life. At home, there is a basket hanging by the door to the garage in the kitchen. My wife put it there for the express purpose of keeping her keys where she could find them. She never plays the game, but I, The Hunter Gatherer, play it all the time.

So why the hell would I want to use that? It's not like I'd get confused, and take the wrong key ring, all hers have Tinkerbell fairies on them. I'd sort of notice, you think? But no, I'm a man, an American man, and we like challenges. I think it's a throwback to our need to look for treasure, an instinctive need to search for things we really need, like food and warmth, and now in the 21st century, a wireless Internet connection. Those things are easy to find, so we subconsciously create challenges for ourselves, ergo, we hide our keys!

The issue here is I find myself playing the game at really bad times, like when I really have to get going. This happens a lot at 4:45 AM when I need to leave for work. the Coffee hasn't hit yet, and I'm getting annoyed. Damn thing is, if I have my keys, I usually end up playing other versions of the game, like, "Where the hells my building swipe card?" or "Where the hells my cell phone?"

This really annoys Mrs C, who is usually playing a game of her own called, "Why the hell can't you let me sleep?!" Throw in barking dogs, and now our new alarm system chirping every time the door opens as I run back and forth from the garage looking for whatever, and I think you see the problem.

Yes, I admit it. I AM AN IDIOT!

Okay! That's enough Man Confession for today, tune in next time when I either share more horror stories on my Home Improvement Adventures, or my new game I play after going to the mall, "Where the Hell did I park the car?!"